Whereas: My name is Heidi Ho to the Rescue and I am 13.75 years old and will be 14 in September.
Whereas: I have been in loyal service to Cathie Jo for a full, long and exacting 13.25 years.
Whereas: I have already had 3 strokes.
I here by declare certain house rules null and void.

Rule #1 No poohing in the house. Never mind that. Not only will you pick up my pooh at all hours of the day and night, but you will be happy, cheerful and grateful to do it!

Rule #2 The pet shall come when called and do whatever the owner tells her to do. Pet! Owner! I don’t think so. Whereas I am a sovereign and free individual who is half blind and half deaf and totally willful and obstinate… you can just clap your hands, holler, wave your arms like a highly untrained semaphore, jump up and down and chase me around! And if you’re not careful you will be required to call the S.P.C.A. and turn yourself in!

Rule #3 No walking through, digging in or sleeping in growing beds. To heck with that! It’s HOT, DRY and HARD around here.
More rule changes to be announced as soon as they have been implemented.

Yours Truly, Heidi Ho to the Rescue